The Years I Stayed

A memoir by Ingrida Pojemiatskas

A Lithuanian woman meets a man in Milan. She follows him to Papua New Guinea, then to Australia. Nineteen years pass inside a relationship she cannot name and cannot leave. When it finally ends, she is left not with answers but with the harder question: who was she before any of it began?

The Years I Stayed is a work of literary nonfiction written in the tradition of Annie Ernaux, Deborah Levy, and Joan Didion. It is spare, interior, and unflinching. It does not explain narcissistic abuse. It shows what it feels like to live inside it, and what it costs to walk out.

Current status

The manuscript is complete and currently submitted to literary agents and the Fitzcarraldo Editions Novel Prize. It is not yet published.

About the author

Ingrida Pojemiatskas was born in Lithuania and has lived in Milan, Papua New Guinea, and Australia. She spent nineteen years inside a narcissistic relationship before rebuilding her life, training as a certified professional coach, and founding her practice working with women over 40 who are recovering from toxic relationships and rediscovering their identity.

She currently works between Palma de Mallorca and Milan. She coaches in English and Italian.

Why this book exists

Most writing about narcissistic abuse is clinical or self-help. This book is neither. It is a literary memoir that tells the story from the inside, in the language of a woman who lived it. It is about the years you stay and the silence you build around yourself. It is about what it takes to leave and what remains once you do.

For literary agents and publishers

If you are interested in the manuscript, sample chapters, or a conversation about this work, please contact hello@ingridlifecoach.eu.